Why is Motivation so hard?!?

Its been a tough month for motivation! I remember I hit the 200 pound mark in 8th grade and I don't think I ever broke it.
Subconsciously, I'm freaking out every time I hit 199. I seriously went from 201 to 199 about three times back and forth.
I would hit 199 and celebrate and take it easy. I would hit 201 and be hard on myself and try to do good all week. I was just stuck in a cycle!
Its been a very busy two weeks. The week started with the car in the shop then the day after we got it back Adam went to Fresno for a Music Teacher Conference with our car. I was home with the kids and no car for about 4 days. Then two days after he came home I left to visit my Dad and Step mom who were in town. We ate out for every meal while down there. It was really tough to make good food decisions. I split every meal with the kids and tried to choose the healthiest.
I came home completely determined to start again! We HAVE to do this! I am going to track EVERYTHING I eat!
....which sucks....
I have ALWAYS quit tracking when my eating got out of control for the day. If I went over my daily allowance then I just quit counting and never went into my weekly points.

I went to Target last week. Valentines Day boxes of Chocolate for 90% off?! Heck YES!
SO My goal for right now is track everything I eat...including the chocolate that I shouldn't have gotten...Last night I went about ten points over- BUT I tracked everything! Yay me!

I weighed in Yesterday morning and guess what?! I lost 4 pounds in the last two weeks! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! Hold on, reweigh... Yep! FOUR pounds. You know what that means? 197. Really...197. AWESOME! NOT 199. Super excited I broke that plateau- YES!!

This week I promise to track everything I eat. That is more important that pounds this week. I need to restart my thinking and get it back on track!